Mutual or Unrequited?
by hollyberry29
Summary: Sirius is suppressing feelings for Remus, and Remus is suppressing the idea that Sirius could ever like him back. But when James and Peter go home for Christmas, will realizations come into the open?
1. Default Chapter

Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter, though I wish I did. Then the fun would really begin! Enjoy and leave a comment! Should I continue it? hollyberry29

Chapter 1

"Remus, what are you doing?" Remus Lupin looked up into the restless face of his friend, Sirius Black.

"I'm reading Sirius."

Sirius made a face. "You're always bloody reading. Let's sneak out and let off a few dungbombs!"

Remus curtly licked his thumb and snapped his page over. "No thank you, I'm quite happy with my Head Boy occupation."

Sirius groaned and flopped down onto the couch, resting his head on Remus' lap, obscuring the werewolf's view of the text.

"Sirius, get your head off of my book and go... do whatever it is you do in your spare time." Sirius looked up at the immense light fixture hung on the high ceiling.

"Well, that would involve running off to the cellar and getting shit- faced with James and Peter. But James is in Wales for the holidays, and Peter-"

"Went to Greenwich. I know. They are my friends too, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled. "Oh yeah." Cerulean met amber as Sirius looked up into Remus' eyes. Remus felt a blush dust his nose and cheeks at the intent expression on Sirius' face. Reaching up, Sirius gently brushed a lock of Remus' mousy, brown hair behind his ear, where it fell right back into place. Sirius sighed.

"I keep forgetting that." he murmured.

"Keep forgetting what?" Remus asked, his heart fluttering nervously.

"That you are just my friend." Sirius whispered. Remus' honey colored eyes darkened over.

"And what do you mean by 'just' your friend?" Remus snapped, moving to shove Sirius from his lap. Sirius pulled at Remus' tie, bringing his ear to Sirius' mouth.

"Because you are so much more to me, Moony..." he whispered, forming the words with his lips against Remus' bare, sensitive skin. Remus was on fire.

"W-What do you m-mean? Sirius!" Sirius nibbled and sucked at Remus' earlobe, rendering him speechless. Sirius grinned and released him. Remus panted and tried to stand, knocking Sirius to the ground.

"Oy, Moony, you git! That hurt!" Remus just stared at him. Sirius sat up and rubbed his neck gingerly, scowling. Remus suddenly remembered his manners.

"I... I'm sorry... it's just that I was startled...why did you do that?" Sirius stood, rubbing his wrist.

"Do what?"

Remus took a step back. "Don't toy with me Sirius, why did you say those things?"

Sirius shrugged. "I don't know. I've always wanted to, I guess."

Remus felt his jaw drop. "You've always wanted to... bite my ear?" Sirius smirked and walked towards him. Remus backed away until he hit the wall. "Damn!" He swore to himself. Sirius stopped centimeters from Remus' face, taking him in with swollen lips and a sleepy expression in his blue eyes. Remus swallowed hard. Sirius put his hands on the wall either side of Remus' head and slowly pressed his body flush with Remus'. Remus yelped and tried to wriggle away, but to no avail. Sirius was much stronger. Sirius leaned in and gently ran his tongue over Remus' lower lip, seeking entry. Remus turned his head, trying desperately not to whimper.

"What are you doing Siri?" he asked, his eyes growing moist with tears.

"Nothing you don't want me to do, Remus." Sirius brought Remus' face around and grew quite serious at what he saw. Tears were streaming from the boy's eyes, his lips shaking, nose and cheeks red. Sirius sighed. He then kissed the top of the boy's hair and his forehead, and pulled away. Remus grabbed at his waist.

"Siri..." he sobbed. Sirius moved for the portrait. Remus could have sworn he saw tears form in his friend's eyes as he slipped into the corridor, and out of sight. Remus slid to the floor and dissolved into tears.


	2. Away from the Maddening Crowd

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Harry Potter. That said, on with the show!

Chapter 2

Sirius raced down the dark, empty corridor. It didn't matter where he went, just as long as he was as far away from other people as possible.

"What have I done... of course he wouldn't want that! From me! What was I thinking? Oh God, Moony..." The thought of his Remus sobbing against a wall was too much... Sirius winced.

"Mr. Black?" Sirius whirled around to see his Transfiguration professor, Minerva McGonagall. "Why are you not in bed? That will be 10 points from Gryffindor and-" Sirius pulled at his hair and let out a frustrated growl.

"Listen, I can't go back tonight! I'll sleep right here on the bloody floor, but please don't make me go back in there!" he cried, fighting back tears.

"I am sorry Sirius, but I cannot allow that... Now if you will please come with me, I will escort you back to your house..."

Sirius took off at a run. He burst through the wooden double doors and bounded down the steps. As he flew across the grounds, he transformed in mid run into his canine side, Padfoot. When he reached the Whomping Willow, Sirius dived down into its root system, disappearing into the Shrieking Shack.

Sirius eased into his human form and threw himself down onto one of the ratty couches. Sobbing into the cushions, he listened as several voices called out his name into the dead of night. "Moony..." he whispered.


	3. Paradise Found

1Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter… blah blah blah…

Chapter 3

Sirius silently crept through the portrait. It was a little before five a.m. The pale morning light had just begun to drift in through the windows. Sirius rubbed his hands over eyes and tear-stained face and up through his blue-black locks.

Quietly slipping out of his shoes, Sirius began making his way up the stairs to the boy's dormitories. Sirius' heart pounded faster with every step. It thundered in his ears, louder and louder, to the point where he just knew it would surely wake someone. Pausing in front of his door, Sirius took a deep breath. Trembling, he gripped the doorknob and turned it. The door swung open, creaking slightly. Sirius winced and rushed through, clicking the door shut behind him.

It was pitch black in the room, save for the light filtering in through the curtains. Sirius dropped his shoes by the door and loosened his tie, all while moving toward Remus' bed. Sirius quietly parted the hangings around Moony's four-poster to see if he was asleep, only to find an empty bed.

"Sirius?"

Sirius jerked Remus' hangings shut and turned quickly on his heel. It was Remus... in his bed... shirtless. The faint lighting seemed to make each of his scars stand out against his milky skin. His soft, brown hair was tousled from restless sleep, amber eyes reflecting fear. He was, by far, the sexiest thing Sirius had ever seen.

"Sirius? Is that you?"

Sirius moved out of the shadows, still staring, jaw slack. Giving himself a mental shake, Sirius desperately willed himself to calm down.

"Yeah, it's me... Just go back to sleep... here, I'll take your bed." he murmured, turning back to Remus' bed and pulling back the hangings. 'Please, just stay over there... Merlin, if he comes over here... I won't be able to control myself...'

"Siri?"

He felt a hand alight on his back. 'Oh no...'

"Paddy, I wanted to apologize for earlier... I was just... surprised. But, it was ok! It really was, and if you ever wanted to... give it another try…"

Sirius whirled around and caught Remus' face in his hands. Remus gasped. Sirius' pupils were huge, dilated with need. His breath was coming in short gasps.

A moan gently escaped Sirius' lips as he pulled Remus close. "Oh, Moony… you have no idea what you're doing to me…"

Remus whimpered as he felt Sirius nip at his earlobe. "S-Siri…us… oh, Merlin…" Remus' knees gave out. Sirius grinned and held the werewolf up as he continued his assault on Moony's ear.

"Merlin can't save you now…" Sirius whispered, kissing the soft flesh.

Remus grimaced. "Wanker…" He muttered. Sirius laughed and pressed his lips against Moony's, all the while gently pushing him toward his bed. Remus felt the mattress hit the back of his knees. Sirius gathered Remus up into his arms and fell back onto the bed. Remus rolled on top of him and immediately began to grind his hips against Sirius'.

"Remus… wait…" Sirius hissed, and dug his fingers into Remus' thighs. Remus' eyes fluttered shut as he slowly rode out his desire. Sirius gasped and squeezed his eyes shut. Suddenly he threw his head back, his whole body completely rigid. "Remus!" he cried out. Just the sound of Sirius screaming his name caused Remus to topple over the edge.

Remus froze, wide-eyed. His heart was pounding, the blood rushed to his ears. Suddenly he felt very light-headed. Curling up against Sirius, he gasped for air. Sirius gently smoothed his hair. Remus jumped and took Sirius' hand in his own, kissing the knuckles. He was still too sensitive to be touched.

"Give me… a minute… I'm sorry, Siri…" he whispered. Sirius smiled, and moved to roll off the other side of the bed. "No! I didn't mean leave! I just…" Sirius quieted him with a tender kiss.

"I know, Rem. I'm just going to get my wand."

Remus watched as his lover crossed the room and retrieved his wand off of the nightstand. Sirius uttered a cleansing charm for himself and Remus. Sirius crawled back into bed, Remus immediately curling around him. Sirius smiled.

"Don't get too comfortable, Moony. Classes are in an hour," he whispered.

Remus yawned. "Hang classes. I'm exhausted. You've worn me out, Mr. Black."

Sirius sat straight up in the bed. "Remus John Lupin, skiv off classes? Are you ill?" he asked, jokingly.

Remus pinned him to the mattress. "It's Saturday, you prat. Now go back to sleep!"

Sirius laughed and pulled Remus close. "Arse," he whispered, just before drifting off to sleep.


End file.
